Unionists’ tendency to turn a gift horse into a tin of dogmeat is legendary
Posted By: March 04, 2023
IRISH CONGRESSIONAL BRIEFING
Distributed to Congress by Irish National Caucus
“Members of Congress will find this article insightful
into the mindset of Unionist/Loyalist/ Protestant
supremacy in Northern Ireland.” —Fr. Sean Mc Manus.
Unionists’ tendency to turn a gift horse into a tin of dogmeat is legendary – and their Westminster chums are getting fed-up with it.
Mary Kelly. Irish News. Belfast. Friday, Mach 3, 2023
It seems Rishi may have pulled off a deal that manages to placate the backwoodsmen in his party, as one-time ERG leading light Steve Baker gulped back tears as he welcomed the cunningly named Windsor Framework.
Wouldn’t you think naming it after Linfield’s ground would do the same for unionists? But no, it didn’t cut the mustard, opined the Maldives menace, Ian Paisley, while Sammy Wilson went two shades redder. Sir Jeffrey reached for the curate’s egg analogy – good in parts but said we shouldn’t expect a “hasty decision” from his party which was still consulting its Lundy-ometer.
It was never going to be enough for the usual suspects, m’learned friend, Jim Allister and his chums, but then nothing ever is. “Constitutional effrontery,” snarled the TUV leader, warning that we were still subject to “hundreds of foreign laws” that aren’t applicable to the rest of the UK, including health safeguards on food and other products. Just 3 per cent in the real world.
Jim has never apparently noticed that Norn Iron is geographically different to Scotland, England and Wales, not being stuck on, but marooned hopelessly on the wrong side of the Irish Sea, attached to that other foreign power, down south.
The PM’s charm offensive had won over the steely Ursula von der Leyen so off he went to a Coca-Cola plant in Lisburn to see if he could teach us all to sing in perfect harmon-eee.
He once described himself as a “total Coke addict”, so perhaps he was on a sugar rush when he told his audience that his deal meant Northern Ireland was now the world’s “most exciting economic zone” with access to both EU and UK markets.
“Nobody else has that. No-one. Only you guys – only here, and that is the prize,” he said, conveniently forgetting that the UK used to have full access to the EU’s “exciting” single market too – before the Brexit wheeze that he himself had actively championed.
So, we are in a privileged position – an investment magnet – but Jimbo [Allister] and co demand that we should share the same economic misfortune as the rest of Britain. If they’re suffering, we demand the right to suffer disadvantage too… it’s part of being British, after all. It’s collective insanity.
If unionists don’t recognize there is a time to accept compromises, then there is little future for their cause. Their tendency to turn a gift horse into a tin of dogmeat is legendary, but their Westminster chums are already tiring of their recalcitrance. This deal improves relations between the EU and UK – that’s what they care about. If the DUP don’t like it, they can lump it, seems to be the prevailing mood across the water.
The Stormont brake element to the deal has caused some concern as our politics has already been brought to a standstill by the power of veto. But this one doesn’t seem to be quite as easy to implement as the ludicrous petition of concern. The EU negotiators aren’t that stupid.
And while we’re on the topic of brakes… make sure you never find yourself on a hill behind Ian Og’s car. He told Newsnight’s political correspondent the handbrake was in the boot [trunk], under the spare wheel and you needed to lift the carpet to access it.
